Trauma

*image credit to realitysandwich

     Every person has their own fears. These fears came out of unforgettable and fearful experiences one had encountered. It only differs on how its fear has been taken, to what degree the experience was, and to what extent the fear itself. A deeply disturbing experience. Once you have seen the same scenario from other people, or almost the same situation, the fear comes back. The trauma that paralyzes you at that very moment...the trauma that could make you hysterical...the trauma that could even lead to a nervous breakdown. I am speaking not only for myself but for others as well, to those who have that traumatic experience.. one that hits like a dagger, inability to move, a sudden recoiled of that event. Sometimes you have that uncontrollable sudden burst of emotions like crying, anger, fear...the experiences you never wanted to share, the fear that you are afraid to show, the weakness you keep hiding even to yourself..anger toward the person who has hurt you throughout. Trauma is a wound so deep..that when you thought it's already healed but it's not .. who can understand the pain? the fear? the memories?.. and why I am writing this?.. only someone who had been or had gone the same experience can understand...and it has no place, I think, in the world of others who has not...

Celebrate Life

    Did you ever see how important? that.. every.. single.. moment..  when you see a person alive or not in pain?.. Did you ever feel how life can be happier if you see someone sick in bed but was able to stand and go on with your life?.. Did you ever think that lying in bed because it is already night and taking a rest for tomorrow's task is such bliss, instead of being in bed with sickness? The moment  I open my eyes without the pain, I am glad I can eat my favorite dish I have cooked yesterday, I can hear the crunch of my favorite mixed nuts "Ding-dong", and I can savor the sweetness of my favorite coconut "Hany".

     Succumb to an unknown chronic pain that could stop my world for a time, I cherish every moment that I can touch and hold hands with my kids, especially my youngest...Faith. Stand and go out looking at the greens, smell the breeze at the beach, eat my favorite foods, working on my laptop to write what I was thinking. Pain can make one surrender life itself. So much throbbing pain every minute wet my eyes to tears. Pain that lasts, it seems to no end. Every pain I dreaded to feel. Worries came in when I feel its onset. 

     Life is wonderful..why end it?.. Everything on earth is amazing.. why destroyed it?.. Some people fight for its life to stand, walk, run, speak, eat normally, to see things the way they were. God is wonderful to make me see things as they were and were they not, to think deeply of all things He has created for what it is. I'm thanking Him for every time that I can open my eyes and see the light of the day, hence, hoping for what the day would bring. Oh, yes, God. thank you I'm still alive! I'm celebrating my life!